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I cannot help but be nostalgic for the original rainbow flag that was a source of pride, hope, and inspiration to me as I journeyed through life. Raising this newly reimagined Pride flag at Ocean Park has renewed my respect for the town in which I grew up. It wasn’t until 11 years later that same-sex marriage became legal across the country.įast-forward to today. With one caveat - only as long as we stayed in Massachusetts.
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It was saying that with this license and as simple a ceremony as we desired, our family could have the same legal rights and benefits as any other family. But now the commonwealth of Massachusetts was offering us the unprecedented opportunity to get married. Even with the ups and downs experienced by all couples, we never needed a piece of paper from town hall to keep us together. Even though we did our best to hide our relationship while in college, we did receive our fair share of gay slurs flung at us from a few less tolerant students who suspected we were more than just pals.īy 2004, Dan and I had been in a loving relationship for 30 years. That year we became a committed couple, and were roommates from sophomore year on. Luckily it turned out that both Dan and I had serious crushes on each other early on, and were brave enough to quickly risk a lot less subtle flirting. Back then, if you were totally crushing on some guy, your only option was to try a lot of very subtle flirting and horsing around at first, then very slowly you began taking some risks and getting a little less subtle. Even with the best “gaydar,” it was nearly impossible to tell who else in college was batting for the same team. This created a distinct problem for young gays like me looking to find romance. Anyone growing up gay and reaching adolescence in the 1970s knew that, because of the not-so-subtle hatred and bigotry toward them, it was prudent to keep their sexuality hidden as best they could. Being gay during that period in history, this became exponentially more difficult. Finding that perfect person with whom you know you want to spend the rest of your life is challenging under the best of circumstances. We met, became close friends, grew inseparable, fell deeply in love, and have been together ever since. Freshman year we were both rooming in the same dorm on separate floors. In addition to a well-rounded liberal arts education, I came away from my four years at Wesleyan University with the nickname “Hal,” and with Dan Waters. By the way, 1973 was same year that the American Psychiatric Association finally deduced that being gay was not a mental illness … something I could have told them if they had only bothered to ask. What I really wanted was impossible: a boyfriend.
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I graduated from the Martha’s Vineyard Regional High School in 1973, never having or wanting a girlfriend.
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I am sure I hurt her feelings without ever being able to tell her why.
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Looking back, I feel particularly bad about one girl who had a serious crush on me, and whom I had to eventually “fend off” before it went too far. I attended our prom, the senior ball, and other social events with a girl on my arm because I loved to dance and socialize. Soon I was in high school, hormones and all, with little I could do to act on any romantic desires I may have had.